LOVE
You. You finally meet a girl. Life is good. She sent you - wait for it - TWO pictures, also known as 'more than one picture'. You keep looking at them wondering what is wrong with her. Whether God is using you to punish her or worse, she's using God to punish you. It doesn't make sense but you're in love. Nothing makes sense.
You're about to tell everyone, from your exs, the one that accidentally told you she loved you once to the person that cuts your hair, all 15 of them. Suddenly the face Kanayo o Kanayo makes when he is about to sacrifice his nephew pops up in your head. You know this is a message from your village people so you shut up.
But you don’t want this one to leave like the others, you’ve been hearing people talk about how money is the ultimate glue - the glue that holds all the other glues that relationship experts will tell you about, so you decide you’re going to spoil this one. That you’re going to pray often now because there’s nothing God cannot do. That you’re going to reply all her 'I’m not fine’s with sharwama, chocolates and alerts. You know you don’t have the money but you serve a living God, after all, is there anything God cannot do?
No time, so you decide to hit the ground running, after wooing her for 34 market days, she finally told you she likes you an hour ago and unfortunately for her, you’re not going to give her time to reconsider.
You check your accounts, all 3 of them. You see the "2" in the 2.40 naira in the first account laughing at you. The zeroes in the second account convulsing. The disrespectful minus in the last account howling. It’s not their fault, it’s just that you constantly find yourself without money. You remind yourself that you serve a living God.
She's online now so you greet her. She replies I'm fine but your insecure self is already telling you she's not fine and it's because of you. You don't know when you mistakenly typed 'I want to take you out, anywhere you want dear'. She agrees. You remind yourself that you're in love and this is what people do when they're in love - stupid things.
